The Puberty Talk Is Happening Too Late for Millions of Kids

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — The awkward “birds and bees” talk might be happening too late for many American kids. A shocking new poll finds that while puberty is starting earlier than ever, with 17% of 7-9-year-olds already showing signs, nearly half of parents lack confidence in recognizing these changes, leaving children to navigate a confusing biological transformation without guidance.

According to the University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health, early discussions about puberty help parents present information appropriately for their child’s age and prepare them for upcoming body changes, preventing unnecessary confusion or anxiety.

Nearly Half of Parents Lack Resources

The nationally representative poll reveals that 44% of parents have received no information on how to talk with their children about puberty, leaving many to navigate these sensitive conversations blindly. Despite this lack of preparation, more than half of parents (54%) describe their approach as “proactive,” while 41% only discuss puberty when their child brings it up, and a small but notable 5% try to avoid the topic altogether.

Many parents are passing down a cycle of silence. Nearly 40% report their own parents did not teach them about puberty at all, while only 31% feel they received adequate puberty education from their parents. This history of limited communication appears to be influencing how today’s parents approach these discussions with their own children.

“Whether they realize it or not, parents may bring their own experiences into their parenting approach,” says Mott Poll Co-Director Sarah Clark, in a statement. “Many parents said they had little or no discussion of puberty when they were young. If puberty was treated as an awkward or embarrassing subject growing up, that can make it harder to know how to begin.”

The poll also shows significant differences in how parents of younger children (ages 7-9) versus older children (ages 10-12) handle puberty talks. Among parents of 10-12 year olds, 69% report having at least some conversation about puberty changes, compared to just 35% of parents with 7-9 year olds. This gap is especially troubling considering that 17% of parents with children ages 7-9 have already noticed signs of puberty.

Barriers to Effective Communication About Puberty

Forty-one percent of parents struggle to determine the right age to begin discussions about puberty. Forty percent are uncertain about whether and when to explain sex, and 29% are unsure what physical changes to look for. Personal discomfort also plays a role, with 20% reporting embarrassment and 17% fearing they’ll say something wrong.

“It’s easy to assume a child is too young for conversations about puberty, but many parents are surprised to find their tween already showing signs of puberty or asking unexpected questions about body changes,” says Clark.

The poll suggests that parents need more resources and support. Only 30% have received guidance from healthcare providers, and just 14% from schools. Meanwhile, parents cite various strategies for handling these conversations, including answering their child’s questions (78%) and looking for teachable moments (66%).

“Starting the conversation early gives parents a chance to shape the message in an age-appropriate way and help kids know what to expect, so they’re not confused or anxious. If parents don’t open the door to these talks, kids may get their information elsewhere, like from classmates, social media, or what they see on TV,” adds Clark.

How Race, Ethnicity and Weight Affect Puberty Timing

The poll also highlights how various factors influence puberty timing, noting that Black and Hispanic children typically begin puberty earlier than white children. The report also mentions that obesity tends to accelerate puberty in girls while delaying it in boys, underscoring why parents should be prepared for these conversations earlier than they might anticipate.

“To help ease the discomfort, some parents may give their child an age-appropriate book or video about puberty and allow the child to explore the topic privately. Often, that leads to additional discussion with parents,” suggests Clark.

The report recommends using regular medical check-ups as opportunities for both parents and children to learn about puberty-related changes. At these check-ups, they can observe how healthcare providers discuss and describe what happens during puberty.

Breaking the Cycle of Silence

“Puberty isn’t just about physical changes — it’s also a time of emotional disruption, which can make open communication challenging,” says Clark. “Many tweens feel embarrassed or uncomfortable talking with their parents about these changes.”

Another common challenge shared by parents was deciding when and how much to talk about sex and reproduction. Clark advises that early conversations should focus on puberty’s physical and emotional changes, with reassurance about how those changes are normal. Discussions about sex can come later.

Parents are evenly split in thinking it’s best to start talking about puberty before 10 years (36%), at age 10 (32%), or older than age 10 (32%). This division reflects the uncertainty many face about the right timing for these important conversations.

As puberty continues trending toward earlier onset, parents must break the cycle of silence and discomfort that many experienced in their own childhoods. By starting conversations early, using teachable moments, and seeking appropriate resources, parents can ensure their children approach this transformative stage with confidence rather than confusion. In the puberty conversation, timing isn’t just about convenience; it’s about meeting children where they are, often earlier than we expect.