(Credit: fizkes/Shutterstock)
NEW YORK — Talking about death can be difficult for anyone at any time. For adult children who need to know their parents’ final wishes, it can be excruciating. A new survey is revealing the stark disconnect between our beliefs and actions when it comes to end-of-life planning. While an overwhelming 90% of adults recognize the importance of these critical conversations, half have yet to take the first step with their closest loved ones.
The research, commissioned by Afterall and conducted by Talker Research, uncovered a complex landscape of emotions when it comes to discussing death. Despite widespread acknowledgment of the significance of these talks, Americans are finding countless reasons to postpone the conversation.
“We’ve long known that most people do not have an end-of-life plan in place and wait until a triggering event before they start to think about it,” says Lee Senderov, chief marketing and digital officer at Afterall, in a statement. “What’s exciting about this study is almost everyone believes the conversation is important and that they want to have it.”
The numbers tell a revealing story. Twenty-six percent of respondents simply keep putting off the conversation, while 23% admit they don’t know how to approach the topic. Sixteen percent are outright scared to broach the subject, creating a wall of silence around a universal human experience.
Interestingly, the study suggests a generational shift in attitude. Forty-one percent of respondents believe end-of-life planning should begin before reaching 65, signaling a more proactive approach to life’s final chapter. On average, people consider initiating end-of-life discussions when they’re 50 and their parents are 70 – though 16% confessed to having no idea when such conversations should start.
When people do open up, the conversations prove surprisingly rich and multifaceted. Fifty-seven percent focus on working out final wishes, while 50% discuss wills and trusts. Beyond legal and logistical matters, 46% find value in sharing family histories and health information, and 23% even exchange treasured family recipes.
Perhaps most telling is that 79% have contemplated their post-death preferences. The most popular options include being scattered in a favorite outdoor space (20%), interred in a cemetery or mausoleum (19%), or kept in an urn at home (13%).
“Having a conversation about end-of-life planning doesn’t have to be a one and done event and it doesn’t have to be scary. It can be as simple as starting with a question like, ‘what music would you play at your funeral?'” Senderov suggests.
With nearly six in 10 adults (59%) believing they’ll eventually be responsible for end-of-life planning for a loved one, the message is clear: now is the time to talk.
Survey methodology
Talker Research surveyed 2,000 general population Americans; the survey was commissioned by Afterall and administered and conducted online by Talker Research between Nov. 2 and Nov. 7, 2024.
